Now I understand the “can you hear me now” move two steps “repeat” commercials. Or; cingular, nokia, the digital network and the search for the perfect lipstick mirror.

I’ve owned three mobile phones in my life. The first was a “car phone” a monster that was good in town, where I didn’t drive often and almost useless on the thruways, where I needed it most. But I lived with it since a mobile office meant a mobile phone.

My next mobile was a “cell phone” that fit in my pocket. It bulged, but what the heck, sometimes bulge is good. It was an analog unit. And though I switched providers (billing services) I kept my phone. It had no gadgets, no extras. I couldn’t play “who cares anyway” nor could I download the latest “skreetch doinit” ringtone. Nope, I couldn’t even be tracked accurately by the NSA. Small favors by being out of today’s flavor.

But my mobile biller notified me in bold print that they were upgrading. If I kept my old out of fashion phone I’d have to pay more. Oh well. So I got the step up digital phone. Yep the nokia. The one with the direction manual that doesn’t apply to the phone. But now I can take lousy photos, download useless tones, and barely hear what anyone says. Yeah digital. Chop out the highs, the lows, boost the volume and compress the changing voice and voila. A phone that no longer serves as a communication device. Design without purpose.

If it’s important enough to talk about, it is too important to put on this crappy Nokia-cingular lipstick. We’ve made progress. We have dick tracy’s all in one for the always connected distractions.

If only it had a better mirror.