I have noticed this before, yet remained quiet. Partially out of not being interested, but nevertheless Ms.(?Mr.) Coulter continues to display the symptom so I am only pointing out an opportunity for her(?him) to expand her endorsement revenue.

Ann Coulter wears short skirts in an effort to draw attention from the neck and face to her legs. This is an effective tactic, however, she also seems unable to remain in one position. The leg shifting and butt action is not only to bring attention, it seems to bring her strong, real relief from something. I do not know if this is a matter of some ongoing surgery, or if it is simply a very strong case of infection. At any rate, if Ann is a woman, then she has the great advantage of using her limited FAUX fame to endorse ….

wait! I’ve an even better idea. Ann Coulter could have the Murdochs introduce the Ann Coulter Crotch Cream. This seems a perfect fit for Ann and Rupert to increase the mix of FAUX products. Imagine the symbiosis. Imagine the synergy.

Imagine it, Coulter Cream, suitable for young and old viewers. Never too dry, never too wet, always just right, Coulter Cream Now Available. Operators are standing by, because they have to.

AVAILABLE ONLY IN WHITE.

Flash, Ms. Coulter has just contacted me with a complaint about the directions on the label. She wants the instruction “apply liberally” to be removed. So be it Ann, so it be.

Okay, one more call from Ann regarding the directions. She wants us to emphasize that:

Coulter Crotch Cream is to be applied conservatively.

I hope that clears up any bumps or sores on those conservative crotches from Coulter Cuntry.