Looking for sexism. Carly Fiorina, former CEO of HP offers this as an example. The example is of a sexist remark.

“She reminds me of my first wife.”

Ms. Fiorina offered other examples of sexism, but she didn’t offer enough for me to understand. Perhaps I can test this one sample phrase more and discover an answer. Let us take this through some permutations. How about this:

“She reminds me of my first boss.”

Or this:

“She reminds me of my first teacher.”

I am not there, but maybe if I take this approach. “She reminds me of a negative role based person.” Or “She reminds me of a common role for women that they don’t want to have.” Am I closer? Perhaps, she reminds me that she is a woman. Is it sexist if a woman reminds me that she is a woman and that that is an advantage? She is a mother with special experience. She has managed wide social interactions better because of her feminine perspective. Is this sexist?

Sexism is a negative feature, a failure. By pointing out that the phrase, “she reminds me of my first wife.” is sexist is saying that being reminded of my first wife is negative, some type of failure. What makes memory of my first wife a bad thing. She died and I remember her fondly. We divorced yet I hold her in high regard for her ability to manage a large hospital. It reminds me of my first job. Not a negative. Reminds me of my first wife — bad. We are to have any number of jobs, but only one wife, and if she dies… Nope, I think she starts out assuming that we mean something bad about “her,” then reacts that way. Wife is the excuse, not a reason.