If you can’t change the way you see, change what you look at.

As a little girl, you yearn to wear heels and lipstick. Why?
As a teen, you became that girl. The one on the cover; the one on TV. You wear lipstick for him. Would he wear it for you? Do you have to take him as he is, while he gets you as a substitute for the magazine cover, the warm tv woman?
Do you really understand the questions here. Do you understand why?

When will you grow up?

Arts most often means entertainment. Most of those involved in, and calling themselves artists are entertainers.
Symphony, dance: these are entertainment. They have performers and an audience. These places aren’t a place for exchange between an artist and a “what?” What is one who consumes art; an artifact of an artist.