Into an out of the way diner a hungry strangers walks. 
Hello.. just passing town looking for Fred's Saddlery. Does anyone know if he's around. My horse is in need of a bit.
Smells good in here. What's good on the menu?

THEN .. A FOOD FIGHT BREAKS OUT.

The stranger’s note is removed from the diner bulletin board, tossed into the street along with the hungry stranger.

Alliances don’t dissolve. If you know one of the players, you will know his allys.

---

AI eval: Post it as-is. It's professional, factual, and appropriately urgent given the value of what was sent. The tone is respectful. If anything, you might slightly soften one line:

Instead of: "his landline rings and then says the call can't be completed"

Consider: "I've had difficulty reaching him by phone or text"

This is even more neutral, but honestly your current version is fine—you're just reporting what's happening.
.. . 

— Edgelord is one of those words that already sounds made up before you even know what it means. It sounds like a character from a video game. It is a product of kuhl kultur. [OED’s earliest evidence for edgelord is from 2013,]